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they say freak, when you're singled out...   
06:27pm 22/09/2002
  it has been a long time since i updated. so i dont expect ne1 to read this. i hope they've given up. whats new? lots that i dont care to share with the whole world. so i'm gunna get rid of my journal. i might keep it around for lyrics and such which were meant to be shared all along. anyone can read this... sure, sure i could put friends only, but knowing who's gunna read this shit, that'll change what i write. like i'd say what i want to either. i'm sure many of you thoughtless adolescents have stumbled upon this revelation from time to time. and now its my turn. one more thing, if anyone still cares what i do with my time, i'm sure you'd ask. so no hard feelings.  
     

(4 laughs | laugh at me!)

 
the lighthouse's tale   
03:31pm 03/09/2002
  I am a lighthouse,
worn by the weather and the waves.
I keep my lamp lit,
to warn the sailors on their way.
I'll tell a story,
paint you a picture from my past.
I was so happy...
but joy in this life seldom lasts.

I had a keeper;
he helped me warn the ships at sea.
We had grown closer,
till his joy meant everything to me.
And he was to marry,
a girl who shone with beauty and light.
And they loved each other,
and with me watched the sunsets into night.

And the waves crashing around me,
the sand slips out to the sea...
and the winds that blow remind me,
of what has been, and what can never be.

She’d had to leave us,
my keeper, he prayed for her safe return.
But when the night came,
the weather to a raging storm had turned.
He watched her ship fight,
but in vain, against the wild and terrible wind.
And me, so helpless,
as dashed against the rocks, and met her end.

And the waves crashing around me,
the sand slips out to the sea...
and the winds that blow remind me,
of what has been, and what can never be.


Then, on the next day,
my keeper found her washed up on the shore…
He kissed her cold face,
that they'd be together soon, he swore.
I saw him crying,
watched as he buried her in the sand.
And then he climbed my tower,
and off the edge of me, he ran.

And the waves crashing around me,
the sand slips out to the sea..
and the winds that blow remind me,
of what has been, and what can never be.

I am a lighthouse,
worn by the weather and the waves.
And though I'm empty,
I still warn the sailors on their way...
 
     

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my story   
12:20pm 22/08/2002
 
mood: tired
so one day i went to the park. i sat on a bench. i saw a man selling food. when i got there there was only pretzels. i bought one but then remembered i don't like pretzels. so i sat down again. a pigeon came over. it wanted some of the pretzel. i don't like pretzels so i gave it the whole thing. i meant to throw it on the ground in front of the little bird but i have terrible aim. it landed on the pigeon's neck. it tried to fly away with it but it was too heavy. and it was stuck on its neck. then a whole flock of assorted birds came and attacked the pigeon. they covered the whole pretzel and/or pigeon. when they left, there was only the pigeons beak on the ground. i picked it up and put it in my pocket. then i walked home. i walked down main street past all the closed buisnesses. only madam florentine's shop was open. i stepped inside and pulled out the pigeon beak. she gave me a thousand dollars for it. i didn't feel bad about being overcharged for the pretzel anymore.
THE END.
© Carol Murray.
 
     

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WARPED TOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
10:32pm 11/08/2002
 
mood: refreshed
i am lazy. this wil be short. u can def read lori's and jess's for the details, and i will have captions for the pics when they get posted. but we met SoCo and i bought lotsa of stuff and it was fun. best day of my life 4 sure! i am addicted to moshing now. i even put on some cd's when i came home but jumping around in my room by myself is not the same. and i am so going to try crowd surfing next time. i am ready for the next level. well i am probably not but thats the fun part. let me share some more details u wont hear. oh when we met the skaters i said to one, can u write "carol is the best sk8r in the world." he wrote "carol is the best looking sk8r in the world, and that's better" it thought that was cool. i had a spamburger. it was gross. my shoes are a disaster, but i can't bring myself to clean them. i feel like i'm erasing memories. so i'm keeping them all dusty as a souvenir.
and finally let me leave you with these words that i can't help but relate to the moshing experience, from a jimmy eat world song :
"i'm on my feet, i'm on the floor, i'm good to go, all i need is just to hear a song i know."
 
     

(2 laughs | laugh at me!)

 
think it over once or twice   
09:48pm 05/08/2002
 
mood: lazy
wow has it really been a week??? well we did go to beach like a week ago and i'm still reeling from the extreme amount of sun i got that day. so i didn't do much after that. it was hard to sit down since the worst sunburn was right across my stomach. oh but on tuesday we went to have high tea with caroline. it was english tea and crumpets and cucumber sandwiches. lots of fun. then we went home because i nearly passed out from antique shopping. i got my stitches out too, the day after. everything is good now. hmm... what else???.... .... yesterday we went downtown again and we went to the ESB and i had suddenly figured out why central park is central park. its not that complicated.the we went out to eat at frankie and johnnies. it was delicious. today we went to a barbecue. it was fun too. i thought i had more to say but if i think of it i will add it. i am very lazy tonight.



Which "Saved By The Bell" Character Are You?
 
     

(2 laughs | laugh at me!)

 
we keep it lethal for our people ...and fancy!   
09:55pm 28/07/2002
 
mood: high
yo my people!. this weekend was busy. the swelling in my face is down. now its just badly bruised. i look like i was in a fight, with my cut lip and all. i don't really care how i look. it was easier for me to go out than lori....... so yesterday, i put on my best outfit and favorite belt (hoping to divert attention away from my face... wow i never thought i'd say that) and we went downtown. we got there at 5 and bought tickets for the 7pm harbor lights cruise. we had some time to kill, so i bought ray to the intrepid. it was fun. then we were hungry, so we went to the mess hall (mcdonalds). i barely managed to eat a parfait. then we "ran" to catch the cruise. they didn't let us on because the boat was full. i didn't understand because WE DID HAVE tickets . then we went on the ferry as a substitute. it was just as good, and free. i had a soda. then i REALLY had to pee. so i made dad stop at the waldorf astoria. it was the fanciest bathroom of my life. i had so much fun. and then i saw the first copy of alice in wonderland. i was so glad i went to the bathroom. so glad. then we went to eat in the marriot. i had chicken pot pie. it was the fanciest chicken pot pie of my life. i couldn't eat the chicken tho. so then we went home. today we went to the palisades. lori bought stuff but she wont tell me. i dont get it. i won a yo-yo at dave and busters. i love hollister. no i love fall clothes. no i wish i had to do school shopping for fall clothes. i can still pretend i have somewhere to wear them.... oh no wait. i bought slides. they are class. i heard LP's new stuff on mtv 2 just now. the album is out 30th. buy it. tomorrow will be tha beach. later sk8rs.


are you a superstar or groupie?


I am 21% Geek

I wanna be a geek. But I'm not. Why would I even want to be one. Do I think it's fun? I should try writting an online test application at 1 am in my underwear

Take the Geek Test at fuali.com
 
     

(2 laughs | laugh at me!)

 
i love drugs   
10:29pm 26/07/2002
 
mood: indescribable
owww. what day is it? oh, it says up there. ok then that means i had surgery yesterday. i had no idea. i had 4 hours of sleep the day before. i had my wisdom teeth removed. i have 6 to 10 stiches in my mouth and i feel every one of them. me face is huge. everyone tells me i would look bad if i was obese. i believe them. despite this i went to the airport today. mary and raymond are here now. i have to take like 8 pills a day so i am mad tired. its only 10:30 now. do not operate heavy machinery. i couldn't operate a spoon right now. not that i can eat anything any way. i am very hungry. and did i mention tired.
on a less painful note, the core tour pics are excellent. the macarena is the best song ever. goodnite new york.



: you're finch! :

Which DriveThruRecords Band Are YOU? Find Out Here!
: designed by : harleenfrances

 
     

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shake it Twinzzzz....   
11:04pm 22/07/2002
 
mood: content
this is a quick update. friday, went to jess's. sarah, allison, gary, billy, and chris, were there. had a good time. remember, its all in fun.
SATurday - C O R E T O U R!! (and a car accident)
the core tour was more than i could of ever imagined. awesome skating. tons of free stuff. the grand skeem gave a kick ass show. and we hung out with them after. i bought their cd and got it signed. i 'll go into details when i get the pics. then we went to chinatown. OMG. i bought power rangers complete set. woo hoo. and some other cool stuff. i got some awesome belts and accessories off the street. i think it was the best day of my life! a

and sunday we went to this irish festival thing. i sold shirts. it was so hott. the weather, i mean.

and today i made frappuccinos. and got the jimmy eat world cd. pretty cool.
and more skating. i did not fall today.....


quote of the day: "i did not fall today".... think about it!
 
     

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whats new   
11:16pm 18/07/2002
 
mood: tired
hey all. the place is crawling with cops now. someone hit the alarm. i think it was them. i dont really know what is going on anymore.

lori is talking of college in ireland. it sounds appetizing. it sounds less stressful.

today we went to the pool. i got no tan. it was kinda cloudy out. and today my something corporate cd from ebay came. its special from the recording company. i hope to get it signed at warped tour.. that would make my year. it also came with 50 promo stickers. those will be fun at warped too. so tomorrow i think michelle will come over. and i'll go skating with pat. he has a mini ramp.

right now i'm checking out "the grand skeem". they are going to play with avril lavigne. (by the way new icon) and they will be playing the core tour on saturday. i am def going to that. they also have open skating where you can skate with the pros. i wanna meet andy and ryan. and nasty is hot. look at his pic . they're all in the ultimate x movie. i wanna see that on monday.


pics:

The Grand Skeem



The Grand Skeem with O-Town (for some reason)




Cory "Nasty" Nastazio
 
     

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11:28pm 17/07/2002
 
mood: emotional
today i cried. during power rangers. can u say "over emotional". and u know how they are crap actors (this was wild force episode.) i think i'm on the edge of something. i don't know what it is. it must be love. i think it is. its different. i miss him. i can't say. i have to find something else.

then invitationals. flatland is the coolest shit i've ever seen. i wanna do that. pat will show me some stuff i'm sure. he can do wicked tricks. shout out to pat. then i went to cvs/7-11. i walked the whole way and it was 88 but i didn't mind.and then i was stupid and bought 2 liter of coke and a gallon milk. (and an eyeliner but that was light) and had to carry it all back. i felt buff after tho. then i did stuff for a few hours. then i got ready to go to new roc. but EVERYONE sort of cancelled when i was like on the way there. that was so nice. so then me an lori went to see a movie. (MIB) it was at 8 so we went to burger king first. i was on line for like 5 hours and then had hi-c. and then i dropped my food on my almost white jeans. it was fun walking around cc like that. then we went for ice cream. i was in a crappy mood and didn't want to see anything but mr. deeds, but i didn't want to spend my money on a movie i saw already. we just went home. so here i am. talking to manda, mark, and rozie. and some times singing avril. i got called her today, again. i don't see it. later.
 
     

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there goes the neighborhood   
07:33pm 16/07/2002
 
mood: bored
last night there was another break-in. the police interviewed me. it was 1 in the morning. so i was like whatever. 2nd one on our floor. then i watched some batman and robin (it's on now again) and then the expn invitationals were on. yay! and yesterday i did some singing. let's just say my middle name should be "make your ears bleed". rocking was good tho.

dad woke me early this morning-- 8:30. but its ok because.... more invitationals! i was inspired after tv. so then i went skateboarding. the park is so much better than i realized. i never noticed before but, "benches, and hand rails, and stairs, oh my" so that was fun until i fell and broke my back. no that was still fun, but it hurts if i look too far the right. hmm.....

yesterday a kid tried to drown sean at the pool. it was his "friend", so he didn't mind. weird.

i was think bout getting my old guitar repainted if thats what u call it, but i 'm gunna go with stickers. i have a bunch of those. i have some lisa frank on there already. i think i'll cover those tho. i won some wicked skate stickers on ebay yesterday. and my something corporate cd is on its way, with 50 promo stickers. that will be fun for warped tour! and i got pics from the lake. i'll try to put those up. i have one with elvis. its cool. my two new songs are "rescue" , "almost sex" and "sk8-NY". i wanna do an elvis cover.

i think i'll go for a walk now, to the mailbox. outside.
 
     

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new website   
10:47pm 14/07/2002
 
mood: mellow
today we went to the hospital. visiting. seriousness. i got lost. twice. trying to find a bathroom. then in the parking lot i saw 5 crows gang up on a squirrel. they murdered it and fought over it and ate it. it was gross. i can't help but see it as symbolic. poor squirrel tho. it was a cute one. let me put on the fan. ok back. today i felt i was wasting my summer. its going so fast. especially when i have TWO books for summer reading. and a term paper thing. i didn't attempt to get the books. i wanna quit school. i dont wanna go back. isn't twelve years enough. i guess not. so any back to the non-productive summer. i wrote two more songs today. and i like them.
hey kids, the website is up! here's the link CarolMusicOnline
its not much, except the intro, but its my motivation. so i have something to work towards. and i think my songs come out better knowing someone might read them. that's all.
 
     

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now   
09:47pm 12/07/2002
 
mood: distressed
hey everyone! how's it goin'? i just escaped from hell! oh wow. first of all, i have been doing really well the guitar (teaching myself). and yesterday i practiced for like 3 hours....not all at once. yeah so my hand hurt today and i was on a break. well while our neighbor was over mom just HAD TO mention that i have a guitar. and then robin just insisted on giving me a lesson. and "no you're holding it wrong", "you have to cut your nails","no thats not how you strum", "i play classical guitar","put that pick away", "stretch your hand", "do u have a nail clipper?", "cut your nails.", "boys don't care about nails". i wanted someone to shoot me. i really really did. and by the way guys, i still had on the green polish from monica's house. oh that was fun. we played girl talk. and then charades. that was the funnest charades i ever played.
yesterday i was driving and i think i am ready for the road. but i can only drive in my feet. yeah the shoes don't work. and then i saw enrique iglesias in mcdonalds. i swear it was him! and i dont eat there. oh big shout out to sarah, xsarah1x who helped with my layout and giving codes and letting me bother her about it. THANKS!!!! i was working on webpages this week. my one is shit. really. oh and BIG NEWS. i quit the "band" . no more celebrity broadcast. well only in lori's lori_mimagination. i decided its no good if i just give everything up ( i must say tho that after night, i will taking a major vacation from my guitar, unfortunately.) but i have so many songs.. thats why i'm designing this new site for my stuff like that. its awesome so far..... the intro is flash. i dont understand how i can have such complicated intro stuff, but i'm not capable of putting a decent background on LJ.. thanks again sarah! but wait til u all see it! i have to type up my lyrics. i'm sure what to do bout the music tho. u really need it to get the feel for the songs. we'll see. i'll link it in the next journal. and one more thing. leave some posts!! laughing is good for you. so laugh at my background.
 
     

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pic   
06:31pm 09/07/2002
 
mood: puzzled
i love this song. this layout. its not what i wanted really. but i dont think i'll mess with it. the main problem is getting my background pic. i have so many codes. i think they override each other. you know what, i am goin to put the pic in this entry.
phrase of the day: "spice up your life" ....words to live by.


this is from october when we were in ireland. i call it "ridiculous".
 
     

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dream   
08:53pm 08/07/2002
 
mood: contemplative
last nite i had the weirdest dream. actually it wasn't the weirdest but it was pretty weird. i was walking around some city trying to get to a store in 2 hours. no matter how fast a ran or how many trains i caught. i couldn't get there. then someone guy with a gun was chasing my brother and i had to save him. he looked like mr rogers. then next thing i knew i was in dunkin donuts. alyssa milano (who's the boss) worked there and this crazy 80s lady. she asked me if i wanted to work there and i said yes so then i did. i got alyssa fired for giving away her secret identity. chaos. thats about it. i dont think it makes much sense. anyway tomorrow i think i will go to dunkin donuts and see whats goin on there. maybe i'll take the train. this dream means something. hmm.......
 
     

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11:25pm 07/07/2002
 
mood: so tired
- wildfires in canada. katie was in canada this week. what more do i hafta say? we got back from the lake tonite. like 2 hours ago. what a car ride. i hate the car. i am so tired now and i'd rather not go on about the 5 days. so i wont. i took lots of photos. it will make a nice little story.
 
     

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10:26am 03/07/2002
 
mood: tired
good morning. it is so early. no, it is too early. i was just on weather.com and it is 101 degrees outside. not fun. and at the lake it will be like 3 degrees cooler. not fun. well now i am going to pack and go to cvs. i will see Ya in 5 daYS
 
     

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dos   
12:21am 03/07/2002
  hey hey. i have an icon. i can't get any pics of me in the right size, but i am working on it. so for now it is my eye. my eyecon. lol. sarah is helping me with all of this. thanks sarah. i got bak a lil while ago from the movies with lori. we saw mr. deeds. it was "wicked nice" lol. i saw amy c. from the old skool. she did not see me. i did not say hi. ok.i got some pics off of the other comp. and i will make a phat design, once again, as soon as figure this all out. oh and by the trees, (i say that instead of "by the way"), we are leavin for vacation tomorrow. lake george. i think thats where we are goin. i dont really care. as long as we come back soon. family vacation = blah. it will make a good photo op as KT wud say.. don't werrey every1 will see tha pics! hmmm. well not much else for now. i will be writin tomorrow morning because i'll be going to cvs. walking/skateboardin. on bronx river rd. in daylight. i will definitely be writn. i didn't spell check this one so dont make fun of my accent. and speaking of accents, my location is messed up. i am not from american samoa, altho that wud b fun. yeah its just NY baby. until then. farewell in your journeys.

P.S. more lyrics coming soon!
 
     

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first entry   
06:31pm 02/07/2002
 
mood: accomplished
well, this is my first entry. i finally got a livejournal account. yeah i took the easy way out. i promised i wouldn't buy my way out of this one, yet once again i did. so much is going on now. well compared to my last life. i was checking out my lame-o webpage which needs SO MUCH updating, especially the diary section, and hey, thats why i'm here now. love the user name dont u. i was in a rush and didn't have "time for creativity". i gotta get an icon, so thats what i'll do now. lata
 
     

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